I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
