i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
