You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my being single is dangerous.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
