It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
