I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
