Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
