You can't motorboat a personality
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Edward fifth and chaser hands
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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