Whod you bang
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize