so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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