I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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