Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
