My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize