I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
