Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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