My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
