Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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