shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
