Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
