Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
