glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
