Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
