they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was confusing and full of hummus
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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