I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
