I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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