You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
