i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you win again, gameday.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
