The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
