she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
