I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
