They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
