I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Drunk is a universal language darling
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
