escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize