69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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