I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
