your room smells of hookers.
And success
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
