i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
