she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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