On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
3pm strippers are depressing
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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