And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
