When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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