im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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