The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
