Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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