I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
