oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
