shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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