I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
