I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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