It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
