i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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