we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
