so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
