it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
