so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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