I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
