Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
