dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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