The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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