is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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