Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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