We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
