It's Friday. Sex?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
