my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
